Quitting Smoking

Score: 0/5

Holy shit this sucks. I wish I had started out with something minor like chewing tobacco or sniffing snuff but nooo I had to smoke. See the worst thing about quitting cigarettes is that there is nothing like the feeling of smoking a cigarette except smoking a cigarette. Meaning you have to take these little half-measures to quit. Right now I have a nasty ass dip in my mouth because, as previously mentioned, snus sucks and is most likely a blatant try by tobacco companies to create a supplement addiction to go with your lovely smoking habit. Besides snus and chew you have the patch. The patch I recommend only to masochists who enjoy the feeling of the dying muscle you put the patch upon.

But that's not all! You can also choose a lovely disgusting lozenge to put in your coffee which tastes like sweaty balls and doesn't come close to the satisfaction of smoking. The closest you can get is a shitty mini vaporizer which doesn't taste or smell like a cigarette and is not nearly as enjoyable. Honestly if you are thinking of quitting and have tried cocaine I recommend snuff. A glorious little invention that takes care of ones love for nicotine and enjoyment of snorting things. But honestly nothing compares to the lovely drag of a Newport menthol and to be quite honest you would be better off not starting in the first place. Bummer for me I guess! Smoking is lame but at the same time an addict is left with an inescapable feeling of wondering if you would or not suck a cock for a smoke of choice (short answer: yes I would). Don't start kids, unless you want to be out of breath walking up the stairs next year, in which case call Guinness as I think I would win that particular contest.